


Of Cakes and Crazy Candle Making

by serenesavagery (windrunnerdreamer)



Category: Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Cake Fic Meme, F/M, Fake Marriage, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, I mean, Modern Roshar, Requited Unrequited Love, So yeah, ha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:07:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24266356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windrunnerdreamer/pseuds/serenesavagery
Summary: "You bought us rings for this." Kaladin said, staring at the rings Shallan was holding up.Shallan smiled, making her eyes go wide. "Please? Pretty please?"Kaladin pinched the bridge of his nose.(Shallan may or may not have bet Hoid half her student loans that she could totally Lightweave a thousand candles on a cake. Kaladin gets caught along for the ride because Shallan has a specific cake in mind.)(Also, it's Hoid's birthday.)
Relationships: Hoid & Shallan Davar, Shallan Davar/Kaladin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	Of Cakes and Crazy Candle Making

**Author's Note:**

> my friend asked for shallan lightweaving a thousand candles for hoid's birthday (which i only realized AFTER posting this) and somehow it became shalladin. i don't think she'll mind, she thinks it has "flavor" so. I hope anyway because my anxiety isn't really leaving me alone LOl, but I went weak for shalladin aaaa

"Did anyone ever buy you a birthday cake?"

Shallan knows theoretically, she should just shut up and continue to be amazed and proud at the fact that Hoid, art god extraordinaire, was helping her perfect her project, but having an immortal help her out with her project also brings out so many questions and Shallan's never been good at dealing with questions by keeping her mouth shut.

Hoid blinked before snorting. "No. Besides, they were only invented three hundred years ago. I think. I don't really get the hype about them, though."

Shallan stares. "Hoid, birthday cakes are amazing."

"I'll believe it when they do something amazing."

"How about I prove it by putting a thousand candles on them?"

Hoid snorts. "You can't find a cake wide enough to put thousand candles on."

Shallan grins. "What if I did Lightweaving?"

"I'll pay off your student loans. Half, mind you, but if you do it, I'll pay off half your student loans." 

Shallan grins. "You're on!"

* * *

"You bought us rings for this." Kaladin said, staring at the rings Shallan was holding up.

Shallan smiled, making her eyes go wide. "Please? _Pretty_ please?"

Kaladin pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't see why you have to do this-"

"Because I kinda need that half student loan demolition? And besides, it's _Hoid's_ birthday!" Shallan asked, her voice a little high with pleading.

Kaladin stares. "And I should care... _why_?"

Shallan tries her best attempt at Adolin's puppy eyes, and Kaladin only pinches the bridge of his nose again. Because he's an old man at heart. 

So really, what was a girl who wanted to buy her best mentor a cake to do?

Kaladin sighed. "You're asking me to pretend that we're married so that you can try Lightweaving, Ash knows how many candles on a cake. Which isn't _easy_ by any means, but....fine."

Syl fluttered into existence at that moment, pinching Kaladin's cheek. "Come on! You've liked her since high school!" She says, and Kaladin gives her the stink eye, cheeks flushed.

Shallan punched the air with a victorious grin, not noticing this little by play.

* * *

"Wear something nice, by the way." Shallan says, the day before the cake shop opens.

Kaladin blinks. "Why?"

Shallan rolls her eyes. "Because we're sampling a wedding cake, idiot. Why else?"

Kaladin sighs. Looks like he had to go to Adolin, then.

* * *

"She's really set on winning that bet with Hoid, huh?" Adolin asks with a grin, as he hands over Kaladin a pair of grey slacks and a long black coat with a white button up shirt, before finally running off to his shoe closet and tossing Kaladin a pair of Adidas sneakers.

Those Shin idiots really went all out in manufacturing the most ostentatious nonsense, Kaladin thought with amazement as he stared at the Adidas sneakers. 

Kaladin stares. "Yeah. And you're set on making me wear this nonsense?"

Adolin smiles cheekily. "You're getting married, buddy. You need to _look_ the part." 

Kaladin flips him the bird and Adolin just sticks his tongue out. 

* * *

Shallan _definitely_ looks like she's going to get married, Kaladin thinks with a gulp as he sees her running down the stairs.

"Sorry I'm late, just had to get my purse and wow." She says, staring at him.

Kaladin feels less of an idiot when she's looking at him that appreciatively. 

Shallan doesn't look that bad herself- she never does, which is an entirely different story; she's wearing a black spaghetti dress (why in Damnation did fashion designers name clothes after food, Kaladin had no idea), high heels and her hair is done up in a fancy ponytail and she's put on makeup, and _Ash's eyes, Kaladin was going to Damnation._

"You look...unusually nice." Shallan says, and Kaladin's not sure if her cheeks already had blush powder on them or if she's blushing right now. 

He knows _he's_ blushing anyways and that's because Syl is singing it in his ear. Literally. 

"Yeah, you don't look so much of a mess as usual." Kaladin says, dryly, before opening his car. 

* * *

Kaladin sighs as the smell of cakes and pastries floods his nose- he honestly has better things to be doing, like that thesis that's due next month...

But Shallan's face lights up better than a sphere full of Stormlight, and she squeals with joy and Kaladin could watch that forever, like the besotted idiot he is. 

So, fine. He'll stand in a cake shop full of Shin cakes and pastries for Shallan. At least she didn't drag him to an Alethi cake shop, Alethi shops were always full of rip-offs. And the cakes they sold were moldy at best; Alethi people had no idea how to make pastries even if their lives depended on it, Kaladin included. 

Shallan spots the cake she wants- it's a light blue, five foot tall cake with white flowers along the sides and her eyes light up, as she drags Kaladin to the spot, who lets himself get dragged by her.

By Jezerezeh, he's _pathetic._

Tien would _definitely_ be giggling at him right now, Kaladin thinks mournfully.

He finds himself face to face with the cake, unable to believe that this monstrous excuse of a pastry is the whole reason the girl he's been having a crush on for five sordid years dressed up for him and storms, he really is pathetic as Moash tells him on their nights off. 

Shallan grins, and pointedly ignores the **_"Customers with the ability to Lightweave are advised not to perform Lightweaving on the products due to complaints of strange side effects from consumption of said products."_** and Kaladin is more than ready to Lash himself to the ceiling. 

Five seconds later, Kaladin _does_ Lash himself to the ceiling when Shallan starts Lightweaving her first candle, ignoring the befuddled looks from the other customers. 

In his defense, the ceiling is also air conditioned, so he's more comfortable staying Lashed there than he ever has been ever since his eighteenth birthday, despite getting stuck in a cicada position of all the rubbish. And he does not want to be arrested for not following customer guidelines. 

So when Shallan finishes Lightweaving her thousandth candle, miraculously _not_ having gotten caught this whole time, she takes a picture of it with her phone, grinning, and then with a snap of her fingers, whooshes the Lightweaving away.

Kaladin can't believe the crazy woman. He can't believe she fucking did it. He can't believe that Hoid is about to fucking lose a crazy deal. He also can't believe that this crazy woman is the one he's been having a crush on for five years straight. In all retrospect, having a crush on a crazy woman means that on some fucked up level, _he_ is attracted to craziness and this epiphany has his head whirling. 

Not..having used the word fuck. If there's anything he's grateful to the Shin people for having invented, it's _definitely_ the swear words. 

Shallan then samples the cake before taking a piece and then turning to give Kaladin one before realizing that there is no Kaladin.

"Kal?"

Kaladin lands right behind her, so he only smirks slightly when Shallan jumps and screams at the sight of him. 

"The Damnation you went to?" Shallan asks, hand to chest. 

Kaladin shrugged and scoops the cake out of her fingers, completely missing her blushing and sputtering at said action before popping it into his mouth. "Didn't want to get arrested for helping someone violate customer guidelines. Wow, this tastes weird. Wonder why. Can't have been the fact somebody Lightwove a thousand candles on it." He said, wincing a little at the taste. 

Shallan pouted. "So you didn't see me being spectacularly awesome?"

Kaladin snorted. "I Lashed myself to the ceiling so yes, I saw you being spectacularly _dumb_." 

Shallan swats his arm. "We're supposed to be married, doofus. Be nicer." 

Kaladin spots the cake crumbs on her fingers and cheeks, before remembering he is in Urithiru and therefore not really supposed to obey Vorin and Alethi sensibilities on dating someone, so the idea in his head isn't really...scandalous. 

It's 2015 anyway, so public displays of affection were okay, anyway. 

Besides...she was the one who asked him to be nice, anyway. 

And he was the one with a raging crush on her, so...why not take advantage of the opportunity? Granted, taking advantage is not Kaladin's thing, but Shallan's taken advantage of him more times than he can count, and taking advantage of this definitely wasn't going to mess up with his Ideals or anything...so....

So Kaladin smirks to himself and kisses the spot on Shallan's cheek where there's cake crumbs and Shallan lets out a high squeak, frozen to the spot.

"Oh, gemheart, you should be more careful about that cake. Wouldn't want that cake to mess up your pretty face." Kaladin drawls with a sickly sweet smile on his face, making Shallan stare at him like he got a brain surgery or something. 

A nearby couple coos at how adorable they are and Kaladin shrugs, still smirking. "You were the one who asked me to be nicer, Davar." He murmurs, enjoying this way too much for his own good. 

Shallan's face is redder than her hair, and she turns away with another squeak, making Kaladin chuckle. 

"Huh. So you _can_ make a move." Syl said, amazed.

Kaladin shrugged, snorting. "Well, Tien would disown me if he found out I couldn't flirt even after watching a hundred romantic comedies, so yeah."

* * *

"I checked. I can totally Lightweave thousand candles on a cake. So give me that skymark already." Shallan snaps, swiping it away from Adolin who just blinks.

"Um...okay then...Kal got the cake for Hoid anyway..." Adolin said, blinking at her suddenly red face. 

"Good. Because storms, I don't ever want to go through that again." Shallan says, blushing.

"Lightweaving a thousand candles, you mean?" Adolin asked, confused.

"Going to a wedding cake shop with Kaladin!" Shallan says, throwing up her hands. 

* * *

When it's Hoid's birthday, he was expecting a rude mail from Kelsier. Or a picture with his head on a pike. Or hell, someone would give him noodles, because someone was a nice sucker.

He wasn't expecting Shallan to actually appear on his doorstep with a cake box. 

Hoid blinked now, looking at the child before smiling.

"How in the name of the cosmere did you find me?" Hoid asked, smiling wider as Shallan grinned.

"You and I do like art." Shallan says, coming inside the studio. 

Hoid shook his head, involuntarily softening for this adorable little child. "You silly little girl, you're already behind on your student loans as it is-"

"You said you'd pay half, that's why I'm doing this. Besides....Kaladin isn't." Shallan says, her cheeks a little pink at his name.

Hoid blinks before grinning. "Did he _finally_ make a move already?" 

Shallan swallows, before shrugging and placing the cake box on the table. "I think so? But he was probably pretending anyways..."

Hoid snorted. "That boy can't act to save his life. Him giving money for _my_ birthday is enough proof of that." 

Shallan laughs slightly. "Maybe? I'd like for it not to be an act...but anyways, today is _your_ day! So happy birthday!" 

Hoid _swears_ he isn't tearing up. He isn't, he will not tear up at a ridiculously cute child having bought him a birthday cake. "Thank you, Shallan."

Shallan grins and opens the box, revealing a birthday cake in blue and black- how did she know they were his favorite colors again? 

Strangely enough there aren't any candles. Hoid blinks. 

"Looking for the candles?" Shallan asks, her eyes dancing. 

Hoid chuckles. "I was promised a show, I think-"

He stares, cut off as Shallan Lightweaves a thousand candles on the cake, grinning like the little adorable imp she is before laughing and surprisingly enough, hugging her.

Shallan lets out an _'oof'_ before her eyes tear up and she hugs him as well.

"Thank you, for making my birthday a fairly meaningful one, child."

"Anytime. Glad it's only _fairly_ meaningful, anyway."

Hoid laughs, feeling warm for the first time in years. 


End file.
